Jalapeños

I did something really dumb last night.....

Last night us missionaries here in the Santa Rosa Spanish Branch got taken out to dinner at what is called a taquería (basically the Spanish name for a taco shop). A young couple from the Branch bought us the dinner and spent some time with us. The food was wonderful, the company was pleasant, and my stomach was full to bursting. I was content. We got to a little bit of chit chatting and the conversation touched on food for a moment. Someone made a comment about things we like and don't like to eat, and they also observed that I was one that typically ate everything that was ever put in front of me nowadays (this person knows me very well....). I agreed and said, "Since my mission, I have decided to eat what I am given. No matter what. I don't want to be ungrateful or wasteful. The food people give me as a missionary out of their own free will is a gift and a privilege." I was of course saying this out of all seriousness.

But someone at the table decided to test me. I still don't know who... no one will fess up. But the next thing I know, I have a little bowl with two jalapeños in it sitting right in front of me. Everyone at the table is looking at me expectantly as if to say, "Well, you did say you would eat everything and anything if put in front of you. Let's see if you'll really walk the walk after you've talked the talk." I of course, am extremely impulsive when it comes to peer pressure and fun little dares and stuff like that. So this is a horrible combination, ladies and gentleman.

I down them both. At the same time. I chew them relentlessly for about 30 seconds.

"Meh. This isn't so bad....." (cue intense burning of torment and fire that will not stop rising for the next half hour).

Yeah. I really regret it. "That was not smart. Thaaaaaaat was not smart..." (Quote from "What About Bob?"). It was so flippin' hot that I hyperventilated a little bit. I lost feeling in my nose and fingertips. And the thing is, I KNEW that something to that effect was going to happen! I KNEW that I was not going to enjoy the consequences! I KNEW it was going to be excruciating, horrific, would-rather-have-shards-of-glass-in-my-eyes bad..... but I still did it. I was fully aware of the consequences and I still caved.

TIE IN TO THE GOSPEL TIME: We all know what is wrong and what is right. We all know that there are negative consequences to giving into temptation and sin. No matter how fancy you dress it up, a pig is still a pig, and sin is still sin. So WHY on Earth would we give into it? Because we are not perfect. But we always have the choice to not give into it in the first place. So today, that is my invitation to y'all. Next time something you know is wrong, impulsive, dumb, immature, sinful, prideful, or WHAT HAVE YOU THAT YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T DO OR SAY comes your way, DON'T DO IT. You will only regret it. Learn from my stupidity people; I know I sure have.

There Ain't No Substitute for the Real Thing People

Y'all are gonna laugh at me.

Hard.

So when you're a missionary, you are supposed to keep your hair nice and clean cut. You're representing the Lord after all; look the part! So every so often this missionary starts needing a hair cut ( he likes his hair nice and short ). Usually he grabs a pair of electrical clippers from another missionary and cuts his own hair and has his companion trim the sides and back. It always works out great and looks even better.

This time was wayyyyyy different people. Typical hair cut time protocol. Except this time the only available clippers have only belonged to the other missionary for about..... ten hours. The guy bought them that very morning. Didn't read the instructions or actually know how to use them really. But I didn't know that. I just knew he had clippers and I needed a hair cut. So the day comes to an end and I ask him for a cut before bed. The clippers go bad about halfway through cuz he messed around with them too much. He had cut me at a 3 length and I originally wanted a 1. So what happens? Another missionary present remembers he has a set of clippers of his own that are smaller and reserved for little things like edging and beard trimming, but he has used them before on full heads. So he gets them. Puts the 1 setting on, takes a swipe.... "Whoa....."

WATTAYA MEAN WHOA?!

Hands me a mirror. My hair is essentially about as short as it comes without shaving it with a razor. Nothing wrong with that length right? WRONG. Way too short. But of course, there's no helping that little detail now! So we are forced to cut the rest of it the same length. (Sigh of reluctant acceptance)

Lesson to be learned? Nothing beats the real thing. And not just in haircuts. In everything. If we desire the best results, we should go straight to the source and get the best we can. Here's the tie in to the Gospel people: If we want the most out of our relationship with our Heavenly Father, we must go to Him. We must pray to Him, study and search His word, heed the counsel of His authorized servants, and follow His Way. That way we don't get the short end of the deal. Get it? Short end of the deal... tying extra short haircuts into the Gospel... yeah I think y'all get it.

NOTE: This post was originally written approximately 2 months ago.... as in September. But for some reason my blog didn't post it when I pressed submit, and I just didn't notice. So I am now posting it, today being November 19th.... Oh well. Why waste a good post, right? Enjoy the funny story.